STLTH 100
by MRAY 4TW
Summary: She gave him an overdose, and Marco gets cursed again - a curse that makes him hate whomever he loves. Just when he thought that things couldn't get worse, he turns into an unwilling kleptomaniac with a sleight of hand so advanced that he can steal anything in plain sight. Marco just can't catch a break... and she can't either. Marco x Higgs (Miggs)
1. A Thief is Born

**STLTH 100**

 **Inspired by Code Name's concept of The Blood Moon curse, the hilarious 'sneak 100' memes and my sneak build character in Fallout. And because I don't think I write enough Miggs. Since I doubt she'll actually get a chance to redeem herself in Season 4, here y'all go. Expect sporadic updates, if this tiny project actually gets some nods. Reviews welcome!**

* * *

"What is that you're drinking?"

Higgs straightened up and raised her mug respectfully to the knight that stood in the doorway. "It's grape juice, sir." The other squires did the same thing, presenting their mugs to the knight making his rounds. Satisfied that they were not drinking alcohol, he nodded amicably and left the group alone. Patiently listening for his steps down the hallway, she waited until he was far enough before cheering. "That's what we call the wine around 'ere!" The other squires did the same, and they all took long draughts of the liquid. It was a blood red business, and being the good stuff, burned her throat when she swallowed. She savored how it warmed her insides, and nearly hugged herself in pleasure. "I can't wait until I'm eighteen so I don't have to hide to drink."

"Only three more years for you," Old Guy said as if he was guessing. "Ain't too much longer for you."

"Sounds short to you," she bit back. "You're as old as some of the rocks they used to build the castle!" Eliciting a cheer from her low-grade taunt, it fuelled her to continue. "You were a squire from probably three Queens ago. Don't you know when to move on and leave being a squire alone to us younger ones? What, you like 'em young or something?"

"I'm not a pedophile. I'm just looking at a lightweight who can't even hold a cup of wine-" Interrupting him by wagging a finger, she drained her mug to the dregs before refilling it from the cask next to her on the sturdy table. Filling it right to the brim, she was careful not to spill a drop as she downed the mug again.

"Showed you who's the lightweight!" she jeered, before hissed that she was going to 'piss fire later that night'. "Drink up, guys! I didn't buy the whole cask just for me!" Baby Man and the other new squire in the room hailed to that, before the latter asked her what the occasion was.

"Oh, you're the new guy. What was your name again?"

"Young Guy." Higgs stared at him strangely before looking at Old Guy with a raised eyebrow.

"He's my grand-nephew."

Higgs nodded in understanding, but not willing to pursue the subject any longer. "Alright. You see, I got hired to do something, and I delivered. I got paid, and now, I'm celebrating."

"Oh. Because it's been a week since Meteora died, so I though the celebration was kinda late…"

"Hell nah," Higgs rebuffed as she refilled her mug again. That time period was something she'd rather forget, and suddenly found another reason to be drinking, wanting to forget that God-awful time period. "The princess's boyfriend hired me to slip a mickey into Marco's drink at the royal party a few hours ago."

"What's a 'mickey'?"

Higgs stared at the squire, slack-jawed. "If you're not old enough to know what I mean, then hell, maybe _normal grape juice_ might be too strong for you-… look, Young Guy, I meant that I drugged _Princess Marco's_ drink, alright?" Hearing the boy's reaction over the mention of 'Princess Marco', Higgs couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, he's a real _confused_ fellow. It was bad enough that he thought he was a squire, now, he thinks he's a _princess_!"

"I thought you liked him!"

Almost instantly, all of the mirth left Higgs' eyes as soon as she was reminded about her few interactions with boy adventurer. "He's just a pretty boy," she said seriously. "And whatever way that drink poisons him, it'll be too good for him."

"So you don't know what the drugs do?"

"Some potion, the devil said," Higgs mumbled. "He said that it was something that would cause Star to hate him. I don't know any more than that. It's probably better that way anyhow. I actually emptied the whole damn potion in the drink when I was instructed to give him a capful. Hope the overdose kills him. The bastard smiled at me and drank every drop."

"The whole bottle?" Young Guy said quietly. "And the princess's boyfriend is a Lucitor, right? I hear that they tend to use nasty curses."

"Well…" Higgs raised her mug for a toast. "Here's hoping that it kills him."

 **=X=X=**

At a point in the night, close to dawn, Marco woke up with a full bladder. Making a beeline to his bathroom before turning on the light in there, he got there just in time before he wet himself, and absently wondered why. He usually abstained from fluids before bedtime-…

Oh, right. The party. He'd drank a lot then. He stuck to straight fruit juice of course. Throughout it all, he stuck to the sidelines, trying to stay out of sight of Star and Tom. It was getting awkward around them now, especially since the discovery by Tom that he'd kissed his girlfriend. He knew that the average male liked their girls the same way they liked their coffee-… they liked it without some other guy's saliva in the cup. Gross, but true.

But Star _was_ a great kisser. From the growing fullness of her lips, and the lissomness of her body when he held her… he had enjoyed every moment of it… he'd be lying if he said he didn't. But suddenly, he found himself hating Star, and his veins began to grow black in his veins as a potion, unknown to him, had long since taken effect. Shrugging it off, he headed back to bed, allowing his bleary eyes to close. He squirmed for a while, wondering why his bed felt so uncomfortable, as if the sheets were lumped up in certain areas. Forcing himself to care, he got out of bed again, and being the neat-freak he was, decided to re-make his bed. Flagging out the sheet, many pieces of fabrics shook out with it, spreading all over the place.

For a moment, Marco thought that his sheet had ripped apart, but there were far too many of the things; his sheet would have to be shredded for that to happen, not to mention the fact that it still looked whole. Picking one up, he blinked the sleep out of his eyes before peering closely. He could hardly see what it was, or feel to determine it. However, his eyes soon adjusted to the low light, and his eyes widened when he recognized the frilly thing in his hand was actually a girl's panties.

"Holy-" he threw it away as if it was on fire, before looking around widely. All around him on the ground where they had shaken loose, panties covered the ground of all shapes, colors and sizes, some clean, some not. They were even all over his bed still, even on his pillows, so many that there were piles forming. Feeling an itch on his neck, he slapped at it, only for yet another piece of feminine underwear to come loose to where it had hitched to him in the night. He had no idea the blasted things got in his room, in his bed, in his pajamas! But there was one thing he knew.

He was so dead.


	2. Sleight of Hand

**STLTH 100**

 **Well, here goes another chapter of Stealth One Hundred. As per the Guests:**

 **Lilly: Don't worry about it, Lilly. It's only for plot and of course, things will happen to make sure that _Miggs_ happens. It won't burn down like the five-second ship in canon.**

 **Guest: Tom would HAVE to be hated if he pulled this crap, lol.**

 **Ligma: Sugondese... Anyway, I meant about Code Name's application of how the curse affected people when they weren't together; I'm not going to get too much into it. He's original... in his own horrific, violent, unique and British way. And Comeuppance... definitely for Tom, but not sure about Higgs yet. As for crazy, glad you dig it.  
**

 **And that's that for the Guest mailbag!**

* * *

Her eyes creaked open at the crack of dawn, out of daily habit. After a yawn, she got out of bed, preparing to get ready for the day. She absentmindedly did everything she usually did… until she reached her hand into her dresser, only to find a perfectly empty space where her knickers were kept.

"…The hell?" Fully pulling out the drawer to look inside it, she couldn't spot a single piece of underwear, not one. First believing that she'd gone through all of her panties in one week, Higgs cursed out loud. "It's only WEDNESDAY!" She tore through the draw now, expecting that she'd accidentally left them under other articles of clothing, but could find none. Not her ordinary panties, not her hipsters, not even her boyshorts. Higgs then ripped into her dirty hamper, but all of her dirty clothes were there, except for what she was looking for. That also meant that Lavabo didn't wash them.

That meant that someone stole them. Pulling back the waistband of her tights, the girl was horrified that she wasn't even wearing any, either, and it was her favorite green boyshorts she had slept in. "What the bloody _**hell**_ is going on?!" What kind of a sick and twisted panty-thief was running around?! And how did he take off the one she was wearing… and put on back her clothes… without she knowing it?! She ran out of her door without even closing it, intent on getting some answers.

In the next hour, everyone knew about it... It wasn't just her. It was like some creeping perverted thing in the castle that had stolen EVERY article of ladies underwear; the entire castle! As the situation that Higgs had found herself in, even the women and girls had found themselves bereft of the undergarments they had been wearing, something that stupefied them. In all of the halls, every female in the castle was in a tizzy, throwing the place into pandemonium. At first, they had hushed conversations, but now that everything was known, no one was being private about it anymore, and there was low-scale chaos.

"Dashing, you son of a bitch!" Lady Whosits yelled as she grabbed Sir Dashing by the scruff of the neck. "You did this _shit_ twenty years ago! Now, you've become so brazen as to steal EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF-"

"It wasn't me!" Dashing tried to defend himself, but the big woman wouldn't hear of it. Punching him so hard that a few teeth became loose in his gums, he fell back against the wall, pleading for her to believe him. This caught the attention of the other frenzied females in the vicinity, and soon, the knight was getting mobbed by overzealous eager on beating him within an inch of his life. As all of this was going on, Marco hefted a massive trash-bag. Just from looking on and hearing the frenzied women and girls, the boy began to sweat nervously, anxiously trying to get out of the hot zone before they even began to suspect the true culprit.

'But I'm no culprit! What if someone was trying to frame me?! WHY? I didn't do anything to anybody? Maybe I should just tell them that I just found them in my room-' Hearing Dashing's screams as he was getting pummeled quickly made him realize how stupid that sounded. Deciding to just talk to someone (in authority, like Moon or probably King River) in private about it later, he hurried to try to get rid of the evidence. He figured that stashing them somewhere far away from him as quickly as possible was the way to go, he tried to lift the cumbersome bag once more on to his back. He failed miserably. It wasn't because of the weight, but because it was so bulky. About to lift it again, he was frightened out of his wits when Lady Whosits yelled his name, noticing how tense he looked.

"DIAZ!"

"Oh no, IT WASN'T ME-"

"Calm down, I know whatever mess is going wasn't your fault! I thought that you looked like you could use some help."

"Help?" His eyes followed where hers was looking at and started to sputter when she reached for the trash bag. "No-no-no, I d-don't need any help!"

"Ah, poor boy. He's insecure about his masculinity around muscles like mine!" the woman laughed to herself. She easily pushed him away, grinning all the while. "It's not because you're puny. You just passed the chute for garbage furnace and you didn't even notice. And I don't want you to tear a hole in that bag trying to get rid of it. Don't need a mess in the corridors."

Marco's jaw dropped. "…Furnace?" he said dumbly. He had originally only planned on stashing the things somewhere out of his proximity before sending an anonymous tip to someone about where the undergarments were. Heck, talking to someone still seemed a sensible enough thing to do. But BURN THEM? Before he could properly react, they had reached the chute for where the knights and squires sent their garbage, and the woman unknowingly dumped the bag containing hundreds of underwear into the fire far below.

"See! Simple." The woman turned back to the boy, only to find him with a large feather sticking carelessly out of his pocket. "Isn't that a feather, boy? What're you doing with that?" She looked at his head, considering that he didn't have a helmet. "You don't even have a helmet!" His eyes widened when he saw that her own helmet didn't a feather, and blustered through a lie as best he could.

"It's actually yours… I'm sorry." He bowed and tried to give it back to her. "It fell to the ground, and I wanted it for myself. I'm sorry I was jealous!"

"Meh, don't be such a kiss-ass, boy. But at least you're honest. You can't wait to be a knight! You'll have to earn it." The woman gave a small harrumph before taking the feather from him. "Just go run whatever errands the princess wants you to." Getting his chance to flee, Marco ran as fast as he could as soon as the woman's back was turned.

'How the heck did I do that?! WHY WOULD I DO THAT?! I was even looking at her the whole time, and I didn't even move my hands… not that I knew of…' Marco's heart jumped into his mouth as he realized something new. 'What if I sleepwalked of something, and stole all of this without even realizing it, like just now?' In his distraction, he tripped suddenly, and tasted the rug as soon as he hit the ground. "Ugh!" Grunting through the pain, he struggled to comprehend why he fell so stupidly, only to look back to see Higgs with her foot outstretched.

"Careful, pretty boy. You might trip." He angrily told her that the joke had no taste, but the girl merely shrugged. "Whatever."

"Don't get all your panties all up in a twist. Oh… you don't have any," he drawled knowingly, relishing seeing her face contort in anger. While his own retort had no taste either, he suddenly felt like he got memories of undressing the girl, and blushed deeply. "Green," he mumbled to himself. Getting up quickly, he ran away from her, trying to put some distance between him and her. Before he was out of earshot, Higgs yelled at him that the Princess wanted to see him. He didn't answer, of course, but she waved it off. She didn't really care, anyway.

Feeling a cold drafty wind blow through the castle and around her, the girl tried to rub away the goose-bumps on her upper arms, only to discover that one of her arm-warmers were missing, revealing her scars to the world. "How the hell…" Higgs had no idea how she could even lose something like that. She kept them wrapped them around her arms all the time, except for when she wasn't bathing. "Damn! First my clothes, now this?! Am I haunted or something? Or some blasted magic?" She was no disbeliever in both, and before anyone could see, hid her arm behind her and rushed back to her room. There were some things best left hidden… things that she didn't want anyone to see.


	3. The Meeting

**STLTH 100**

 **Truth be told, I just thought it looked better without the vowels. Makes it easier to find if you're search-specific too.**

 **3.**

She hadn't thought about it before, but now that she did, Higgs was starting to believe that Marco looked pretty good for someone who should have died in his sleep. Didn't she overdose him with the potion that Tom gave her?

Well, who could have blamed her for being distracted? After all, she was one of the victims of what was practically grand panty theft larceny. She had heard of panty thieving before, but the supernatural crap about the situation was the fact that everyone (female) had been robbed of their underwear while they were sleeping, even the people who were notoriously light sleepers. A drop of a pin could wake up some of them, and this person had UNDRESSED them.

It was preposterous. Of course magic had to be involved. If not, then there was a perverted ghost flying around, and there was no one stupid enough to believe that. Despite the ruin of the present situation such as the fact that the castle was still being repaired after being partly destroyed, the royal family in shambles and rumors of Eclipsa getting the monster side of her family back together, everyone who was victimized in the castle was calling for something to be done.

Higgs was in full agreement. Her monthly bleeds were just around the corner, and she didn't have any more money to buy any more undergarments. Shit, she spent all of her money on the cask of wine last night. She couldn't damn well wear that.

But on the issue of Marco and his drink…

'I wonder if that bastard was the one who stole my knickers?' She glared at him as he sat across from her at the long meeting table they were at, but he didn't notice because he was too busy glaring at Star, who was still trying the calm everyone down to an acceptable level of order.

"All right guys…" Star trailed off awkwardly when she realized but the only two males in the room was Sir Dashing and Marco, "I mean… my fellow females…" She coughed once in her hand to clear her blush, trying to guess how her mother would act in this situation. "I called this meeting because there is a **serious** underwear issue and let me tell you from now that _I_ didn't do it, because I haven't got anything on under this dress." She glanced to her immediate right side to see Marco with his eyes wide, having momentarily forgotten that he was there. The both of them flushed with embarrassment, but Marco's own lasted far less as long as hers, something that Higgs noted with interest.

"Dashing did it, that pervert!" Lady Whosits yelled, riling up the other women in the room. Sir Dashing cringed as he was afraid of actually being lynched this time, and Star had to yell for order before they ended up killing him.

"That's another thing that we needed to talk about. You've all beaten up nearly every guy in the castle except for Marco and Lavabo, who I hear is still hiding out in the Wash. Seriously, we can't beat up the guy who's washing the clothes we still have left."

"Maybe it was Marco who did it," Higgs said a while after some thinking, staring at him as she did. The squire reasoned that whatever she had drugged him with the night before had caused this farce. There was also the fact that he was the only one around when she lost her arm-warmer. "Yeah, I really think that Marco did it. Who knows what's running through his head, especially what with all the raging teenage boy hormones in him." Marco gave her a decidedly guilty look, before shouting that he didn't do it. He still had the same look on his face when she continue to accuse him. "Maybe he jacked off to it like some sick horny dog."

"You're out of your mind!" Marco shouted. "I didn't do it!"

"We could beat the snot out of him just to make it fair to all the other guys," a woman in the far end of the room catcalled, one of the many that hadn't felt satisfied with the amount of vengeance already doled out to every male they had encountered in the castle. The atmosphere started to get a little bit more tense, and coming to her friend's rescue, Star yelled back that Marco wasn't even capable of stealing panties like what had happened last night.

"Maybe some of your magic rubbed off of him or something," another woman suggested. Yet another bellowed a rumor that Meteora had supposedly given Marco special treatment when she was zapping everyone with her eye lasers. Higgs cringed as she relived the memory in her head, wondering how she could nail Marco down without condemning herself. She was pretty certain by now that the potion she had given him that caused him to become some breed of master panty thief (and arm-warmer crook).

"I hope you're not being partial to Marco, my princess," she tried to say in as polite a tone she could manage. "Because if you're not, you wouldn't mind us searching his room for evidence."

"You won't find any!" Star and Marco exclaimed at the same time.

"Careful, Marco," Higgs replied with a smirk, "you make it sound as if you already got rid of it." That instantly set everyone into a riotous mood again, and Marco began to sweat bullets.

"What's your problem with me?" He hissed at her across the table while everyone argued around them. "I know that we don't exactly agree, but are you really trying to get me KILLED?! For what? Because I accidentally scuffed up your boot when you tripped me this morning?!" He was bitterly sarcastic, and for good reason. He had planned to explain the situation with Star in private, or perhaps her father, but hadn't gotten the chance to before he was hauled off to the meeting. And now, Higgs seemed to be targeting him with a vengeance. Damn, what did he really do to deserve this?

As if things couldn't get any worse, an orange portal suddenly ripped into existence, and Hekapoo stepped out of it, her face screwed up in anger as she looked at Star, not even considering the time and place. "You would not believe what happened when I woke up this morning! Somebody stole every piece of underwear I had, and I need you to use a spell to find the perp-"

"Oh, come on!" Star screeched in exasperation as she dug her hands into her hair. "Mom didn't have to deal with this kind of-... Wait a minute…" Star thought for a while, trying to figure out why Hekapoo was even targeted, but more importantly, how and who. "There aren't many people who know about your dimension, or even where you live there. The only other place where people got targeted was in _this_ castle." She slowly turned to Marco, who was slowly shrinking in his seat away from the focused attentions of Star and Hekapoo.

Higgs pondered what they were getting at, before realizing what they meant. It was then that she pounded the final nail into Marco's coffin, and spoke loud enough to make sure that everyone heard her, grinning all the while.

"Hey, aren't you the _only_ person in the castle with _dimensional_ _scissors_?"

And if the situation still wasn't perfectly bad enough, resting perfectly in Marco's hands was Star's hair headband for everyone to see.


	4. Mania

**STLTH 100**

 **So, a couple of real-life metamorphosizes and a mountain of writer's block recently . So, I do what I usually do to cure it. Play the game that inspired the particular fic. Sorry if it comes out flat; I'm out of practice. But I digress.**

 **Sorry for the wait.**

 **4.**

Marco had slumped so far down in his seat that he was practically sitting on his back by this point. In his situation, he knew that he was royally screwed just from the murderous looks that every single woman was throwing in his direction. That didn't include the super strong ones like Lady Whosits, Star and Hekapoo, the last of which he realized was close enough to stab him with her dimensional scissors that she had in her hand, shaking in her fury.

And Higgs was just being… Higgs.

"So what's your next move, Panty-Thief?" She asked from where she sat across from him with a smile on her face. It registered to him that she wasn't really happy, but merely glad to see him go through discomfort, about to be severe pain, then hopefully killed if he didn't end up crippled for life after everyone was through with him.

Hateful schadenfreude. At that point, he decided that he didn't just dislike her. He hated her too. He really did. Even if she DID have justifiable cause this time around.

Everything was deathly quiet as she continued, holding up a hand to interrupt Star before she could even get a word out. "If your next move isn't marrying everyone you felt up or giving everyone their knickers back in pristine condition AND beg for your life, we're going to wring your scrawny neck."

Didn't say it in exaggeration. Said it as if it were a fact.

Both options were out of the question, for obvious reasons. Marco cursed mentally, wondering how he got into this mess and realized it was due to his newfound knack for kleptomaniacal stealing; it couldn't even help him escape. He paused to consider begging for his life as Higgs as suggested and realized that she only wanted to see him grovel uselessly. He was either going to get punished on his knees or when they caught him if he fled. Hopefully, he could find someone to explain this mess to, or even to Star later when she was alone.

Right. Die now, or later. He decided to die later. Focusing on his pockets, he ever so slightly fidgeted his legs to feel if he had his scissors. He didn't have them on him. He struggled to find another solution and soon came to him.

Marco reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a cheap toy ring that he'd distractedly pocketed after getting it out of a box of Captain Blanche's Sugar Seeds. "Everyone? Will you marry me?"

He got up and tossed the ring on to the table and the moment everyone's gaze snapped to it, Marco didn't waste a single second in running for his life.

 **=X=X=**

Marco usually had an idea of where he kept his things. Star used to say that he was like a mom. If he couldn't find something in a single minute, someone had misplaced his things or they were simply lost for good. As the sounds of violence outside his room grew louder as the throng of women tried to break his door down, he pulled down the dresser to bar the door, but he could already hear shouts outside to let Lady Whosits try.

"No, no, no!" Marco panicked, trying his damn best to find his scissors to get the hell out of Mewni before he got his head kicked in, flinging his stuff all about the room in his frantic search. By now, his room was in complete disarray, and still no scissors. From the sounds outside that indicated that it was now Whosits banging her meaty fists against the door, he was about three seconds away before everyone got inside. He decided to jump out of the window! All he'd have to do was sprout wings and fly before he fell from the frickin' eight-story tower and was smashed to a pulp on the rocky ground below.

"I was set-up!" Marco bawled in desperation as he inched away from the door only to end up huddling in the corner by the window, terrified. "It's NOT my fault! It _just_ happened! I swear!"

"Marco!" A sudden hiss came from the window. Marco flinched when he heard his name, afraid that he was caught. Looking up, he saw Star in her butterfly state, reaching out one of her three right arms to him. A noticeable difference about her was her antennae missing because of her lack of a hairband, that being the one he stole. "Come on!"

Almost instantly, he thought that this was her way of getting back at him. Maybe she wanted to punish him first before everyone else ripped into him. Deep down, he felt ashamed for even doubting his best friend's care for his wellbeing but deeper down, he felt unfathomable hate for her try to overtake it. Fighting against the irrationality, he grabbed her hand, and she hoisted him up and out, only seconds before the door was shattered into splinters as the women and girls broke into the room.

"Where is he?" Whosits asked in confusion, before flipping the bed to check underneath. "He isn't in here!"

"Double-check everywhere!" another demanded. "I saw him come in here!" The others brought up the point that they just heard him yelling, but things weren't adding up. They soon stormed out after realizing that neither the Diaz nor their underwear was in the room, save for Higgs who'd remained behind.

She calmly seated herself on a chair, feeling the cereal ring as she shifted it around inside her fist, having been there ever since it had fallen off the table and into her hand. As she did so, Higgs took note of the ransacked room and that the only underwear in the room was Marco's own underpants and boxer-briefs. The squire crinkled her nose in disappointment; her own underwear, along with everyone else's, was either kept elsewhere or destroyed. She wasn't sure, just a feeling.

"Jacking off to it like a sick animal, sure," she said to herself. She meant it. It'd be just like _him_. No, not as bad, but Marco was now reminding her of him even more.

She'd wanted him, even while he forced himself on her. God, she hated him.

The ring, though, was still in her hand.


	5. Settlement

**STLTH 100**

 **Welp, time for a new chapter. But first, let me answer the phone:**

 **IROCK108 – (bumps fists)**

 **Devor – Heck no I ain't, but I'm glad you think so. To Daron be the glory… before she spat on her religion, at least. I'm back, and I've kicked the writer's block! :D**

 **Mr. Haziq: Nope, it's an ordinary plastic ring with a fake plastic gem in it. And yes, it's enticing enough to be a choking hazard for 3 y/olds.**

 **5.**

The castle was quiet now, for the first time since the first had awoken earlier that morning. River, finally realizing that he'd gotten everyone to settle, yelled out that everyone would receive monies to replace their underwear that had been destroyed. He'd thought that'd be the end of it and was about dismiss the throng of females out of the throne room when one of them exclaimed about needing some sort of reparation for their violated privacy.

In his moment of weakness knowing that he had little else to tell them, River glanced over his shoulder at his daughter. Star lacked any real interest in what was happening, and he could tell that she was still upset about how Marco had treated her after she'd saved him. After hearing the details, he believed that there had to be a misunderstanding and still wished to help Marco nonetheless, with or without her support. "He was unconscious. He did all of that in his sleep and did not actually _see_ anything. Marco is under the influence of some strange drug, curse or _magic_ …" he admitted the last very hesitantly. "Marco had no control of his thefts, either. That's obvious from how he outed himself by thieving my daughter's…" he paused, realizing that he didn't know the name of her hair accessory, "head… thingy. Rest assured, if that's not enough to ease your minds, feel free to request an apology; while it wasn't his fault, you're still quite deserving of one."

"Alright. So let's say that we forgive this dirtbag, forget that he stripped us and stole every single knicker in the castle," Lady Whosits stated, more than slightly pissed that she had inadvertently burnt every one of the panties to ashes. "I still want to know when we're getting the money to buy them back? We don't have a single one, so we're getting it _today_ , right?"

"Yes, yes." River darted across the stage to Manfred and whispered into his ear. Manfred spoke back to him in a similarly discreet manner, and River was appalled to learn about the state of the treasury was nearly obliterated from the ongoing repairs to the castle. "Get the tax collectors to get the money earlier this month!" River hissed to the Head Servant, "before they rip us to shreds!" He turned back to the women, sweating a bit. "Three days."

"Are you kidding me!" Higgs yelled, "Three days?!" With her, there were other shouts and grumblings and complaints, and they grew louder and louder 'till the King could stand no more. Feeling his responsibilities even more with the absence of his wife, River now felt infuriated at the females who wanted to cower him down.

"You can either wait or don't. However! Know this… I am still here and always have been. I've turned a blind eye to your violence and your insults, but no longer." To the women, the King had always been the lesser serious of the royal couple, but he'd never exuded such a dangerous temperament until now. "Any more incitation, protests, and mob beatings because of your impatience and ignorance will be returned to your own heads; Queen forgive me, but I will see to the lashings MYSELF. That is _all_."

 **=X=X=**

Higgs walked briskly back to her room, an angry undertone to her gait. More than anything else, she wanted to just sleep for the next three days, both to ease her fatigue, mental stress and to skip the waiting time before she was reimbursed. Almost going unnoticed, Higgs felt a tiny pang in her lower abdomen, a signal that even if she just went to bed for her fantasy, she'd only wake up to find bloody sheets. Definitely something she wasn't looking forward to.

Turning a corner and almost reaching her room now, she saw Marco in the hallway as if just exiting her room. He seemingly shrunk away when he saw her and hastened his speed. Immediately suspicious, Higgs had it in her mind right then and there that she wouldn't chase him right away. When she entered her room, if everything wasn't the way she'd left it, she was going to break his arms when next she saw him. Entering for herself, almost wanting to see something out of place, she noticed that her lost arm-warmer was on the bed. It was the very same one that she'd suspected Marco of stealing, and no doubt that he had just returned it. Grabbing it and running out, she looked back up the corridor, his retreating form almost out of earshot.

"Nerd!" she shouted, running after him. "Hey! I got a question— stop where you are, faggot!" At the least, he did stop, but seeing his face when he turned around made her consider the fact that he didn't stop because she demanded it, but rather as if he wanted to fight her; he was in a loose stance. "Oh, relax. I ain't gonna bite your head off."

For a brief moment, Marco thought of praying mantises. "You're the type of person who'd hurt people after you get what you want."

"Ah, stuff it. I want to know why you didn't return this to me sooner?" Realizing what she'd just said, she stepped a bit further away from Marco, keeping up a distance lest she lost something again. "What kind of sick bastard are you? Is stealing women's things your kink?"

"I just found it, so I gave it back. Bye." Just as he was about to walk away again, she asked him to wait a little longer. "What, me running away and ignoring you isn't obvious enough? Can't take a hint? I can't stand you!"

"The feeling's mutual," she grunted. "But did you _see_ anything?"

"Huh?" Marco stared at her as if she'd grown a second head, before believing that he understood what she meant. "You mean about last night? Didn't see anything."

"Not me, you moron!" Coming to the understanding that he didn't see underneath the warmer, she shrugged in exasperation "Never mind." He watched her turn to leave whilst cradling her arm, before realizing what she meant.

"Hold on, did I do something to your arm?" Her lack of an answer was nonchalant, off-putting. After she'd chased him down when he'd wanting to be left alone, he felt as if he deserved to know why this was so important for her to switch attitudes when confronting about him it, as if afraid that he'd discovered something. "Did I have something to do with it?"

Higgs paused and turned around to face him, watching him silently. Only after observing him, all of his characteristics like his ascetic lifestyle, his mannerisms, how he stood, even the catching concern in his voice-… they were different. In fact, all he had in similarities was the face. People resembled each other all the time.

He wasn't Rocam.

"No," she said at last finally coming to terms, "You had nothing to do with it. Sorry, Marco." Nothing more to say, she walked away, heading back to her room. Marco gazed at her form, knowing that something important had just happened but he was too confused to understand what it was. He moved his hand to scratch his head, only to feel something soft pat against it. Looking to see what it was, his eyes widened in apprehension.

"Crap! Um, Higgs?"

The squire turned her head and gawked when she saw double-cupped white thing dangling from Marco's hand. "Is that my bra?!"


	6. A Sixpenny Ring She Couldn't Pawn Off

**STLTH 100**

 **After the next chapter, I'm goin' back to Vestiges. Moments start next chapter. Srsly.**

 **6.**

She found him in his room cleaning.

Higgs leaned against the wall by the doorway, her arms folded. Marco had thought that it meant that she was annoyed by something and from the usual trend, he guessed that he did something — probably the bra thing. It'd gotten messy, and she'd nearly given him a black eye for it if he hadn't cut and run. However, now she was here watching him clean up his room, and her silent stare was starting to peeve him. He gave her a stare of his own, letting her know that he wasn't going to be subjugated just because someone looked at him funny.

"What do you want, Higgs?" Wordlessly, she took something out of her pocket and tossed it to him. Cautiously, Marco dropped his broom to catch it and quickly observed it for what it was. "The ring?" It was the selfsame ring that he'd used in his distraction during the meeting the day before — he hadn't expected to see it again. He gazed back at Higgs, who smirked at him.

"I _don't._ " she said in dry humor. It took him a while before he understood what she meant… it was a refusal of wedding vows.

"Nice," he countered sarcastically, biting the inside of his lip to keep from smiling at her joke. "Did it take you all morning to come up with that one?

"Figured you wanted it back. So… princess…" The second she said that word, Marco froze, wondering if she'd found out that he was 'Princess Turdina'. She was the last person he wanted to find out about that.

"What about 'Princess'?" he asked nervously.

"I'm thinking that she needs some underwear. Star, I mean." All of a sudden, Higgs was catching the nervous air, and for good reason. About this whole panty business, Higgs was after money. She'd heard rumors before that Marco came by a lot of money every month, and that wasn't something that was plenty right now, especially among the people in her circles. After treating Marco the way she had, she couldn't ask him for any or even request a loan. Regardless, she'd heard that he'd had a falling out with the princess and being the manipulative type, had thought there was a way to work it to her advantage. "Been hearing that you're not so buddy-buddy with the princess since yesterday and I'm thinking she's upset because she doesn't have any knickers. I decided I'd help you panty shop to help make it up to you for being such a bitch." Higgs smiled genuinely enough to pass, but Marco was just relieved enough that the girl hadn't apparently caught on to his secret. He supposed he was alright if a lot of people knew about the Turdina fiasco, but if the squire caught wind of it, she'd probably never let him live it down.

Of course, he didn't know that she already knew.

"Panty shopping?"

"Yeah. I'd go to the store for you. You know, 'cause it'd be shameful and queer if a guy went shopping for something like that."

Marco shrugged now. Higgs apparently didn't know why Star wasn't on speaking terms with him, and it certainly wasn't underwear related. In any case, a useful apologetic gift would be a great step in the right direction though. "I don't mind going."

"Really?" Man, she thought she'd had him. She'd wanted to just buy a mess of panties while keeping some for herself. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

She stumbled now. "Um… what if I went with you… make sure that you don't pick something inappropriate. I mean…" Higgs scratched her cheek, deciding that the only way to convince him was to confuse him and make him less sure of himself. "From how the princess is super active, she might like tanga panties more. Unless she's a more modest type, she'd prefer hipsters or bikinis."

"There are different types of panties?" Marco boggled. In his world, there were either briefs or boxers but his experience in the female one was woefully lacking as it pertained to preference and suitability. Yet still, this was still too effing suspicious; why was she so eager to help? "Wait… you're up to something…" He looked her over with a stinkeye. "You were going to shop for yours on my bill, weren't you?"

Busted. "Um. No?"

His glare didn't flinch.

Well, deception didn't work, mostly because she did a piss-poor job of it. She tried honesty.

"Okay! Yes. I'll owe you. Maybe a favor or something, but I'll pay you back."

His skepticism grew.

"I swear."

He still had a lot of resentment for this girl. All that she'd done to him hadn't just disappeared just because she pretended it did. It was still burned into his memory no matter how much of an effort she made trying to act like she was the victim. What made things worse was that Higgs wasn't just a bully; she was a liar. His father said that he'd rather trust a thief than a trickster and he was starting to see why-... they were risk-prone whenever they were around. Although, he had to admit that he was relishing how she was sucking up to him now. A mean idea came to him… he'd buy her a couple of pieces of underwear… all of them would be a few sizes too small. Locked between a choice between sheer discomfort and desperation of wearing them or shame from having to go commando… yeah, that'd show her.

"Okay. I guess I can get you a few."

"Really?" She was taken by surprise. She hadn't expected him to agree, given her deplorable streak with him. She'd just been considering whether if she should rob him, but she supposed times hadn't gotten that dire. "Don't worry, I'll totally owe you one." Marco nodded, though an annoying thought came to him — one of the reasons why he was cleaning his room so thoroughly was done in the hopes that his scissors would turn up but no such luck so far.

"Cripes, I don't have my dimensional scissors. How the heck are we going to get to Quest Buy?"

"There's a smuggler down in the village who opens portals for a cost. He's got quite the racket going on."

"Why does it sound so illegal?" Marco asked, wondering why she described it like that.

"It is **legal**. The reason he's called a _smuggler_ is that it's not something he can be taxed for 'cause it's freelance without a future pension… it's the closest description to describe his job. Kinda pisses off the monarchy about so much money that they can't get ahold of. 'What's your job?' 'Don't have one'," she mimicked in what sounded like an old man's voice. "'How much _money_ do you make?' 'Don't _make_ money, only spends it as I earn it'. Then he starts up with his senile act until they eventually leave him alone."

Marco found himself trying to keep from laughing. This dry-witted smuggler guy sounded a lot like Higgs and for some strange reason, he found it amusing.

Oh man, did that mean that he was getting her sense of humor? "Alright. Let's go." Realigning his bed back into place, he started to approach her to exit through the doorway, but Higgs held up her hand to stop him, before leaving through the doorway quickly first.

"Could you keep your distance from me? At least arm's length. Not in the mood to lose anything else."

The Diaz acquiesced with a small grumble. The next thing on his agenda was getting his thieving under control.


	7. Full Stop - New Sentence

**STLTH 100**

 **Here's hoping for a bigger chapter before I leave this alone for a bit. In any case… is anyone still reading? Meh… guess I'll wait for the awkward silence to end.**

 **7.**

"Holy shit… Is that Rocam?" As soon as the old man saw Marco, he backpedaled away from him into a corner where he withdrew a rusted sword which he held in shaking arthritic hands. "Stay away from me, you devil!" Squinting a bit, he noticed that a familiar-looking girl was next to him and his shocked reaction increased. "Higgs, what the hell are you doing with him?"

The squire cursed under her breath at the man's response to seeing both her and Marco, knowing that the smuggler might blab something he shouldn't. "Calm down. Your eyes are going — this is someone else. He's a fellow squire in the castle."

"Fellow squire?" Marco parroted.

"I won't start if you don't," Higgs hissed back into his ear, only a few moments before she hurriedly put some space in between herself and him. "Anyway, old-timer, we need a portal to Quest Buy."

"Is this official knight business?" the smuggler asked.

"No," Higgs said back quickly. "Private shopping. Private shopping for privates." Marco bit on his lower lip at the girl's candidness, almost peeved that she was so forward. Already pulling out some cash, he asked the smuggler how much to open a portal but the man refused payment.

"To hell with that, you brats. The blasted collectors have been going around with a vengeance since this morning and I'm running outta space and use for my money. Just bring back food or something. And none of the cursed or enchanted stuff." Pulling out an aged pair of dimensional scissors and what looked remarkably like a pager, he handed the pager to Higgs (while still giving a scrutinizing distrustful look at Marco) and opened the portal. "Now get outta here." Without any preamble, Higgs already started to enter the portal and had to drag Marco along with her because of his sudden impersonation of a statue due to hesitancy and confusion. He couldn't figure out what the whole 'Rocam' business was about or why the smuggler apparently wanted nothing to do with him. More so to the point, the man was especially concerned when he saw both he (Marco) and Higgs enter together, clearly a sign of bad history and a probable reason why she resented him so much. He was still making a note to ask the old man about his reaction later when Higgs pulled on his arm more firmly.

"C'mon, nerd. Move your legs." He finally walked after her, and as soon as they entered the portal into Quest Buy, the old man closed the magical doorway behind them. Marco became suddenly concerned and asked Higgs how they were going to get back. "That's what the pager is for. I use it, he gets the memo and opens the portal right where we are, and we get in. Simple."

"Oh." He got the feeling that she'd done this often before with this so-called smuggler and decided to just follow her lead. Hell, even the food bit didn't even faze her-... it could even be a practice of his. "You know where the underwear section is?"

"Yeah, I know where it is." She started to point one way but her hand visibly shook, betraying the fact that she wasn't sure. "No. It's that way," she decided, pointing in another direction. Marco facepalmed himself at her antics.

"You don't have a clue, do you?"

"I know where it is! It's just that I'm not shopping for the blasted things every week!"

"And Quest Buy is confusing," Marco added quietly as he went over to where the directions board was. "You're lucky I came along." Higgs watched as the Diaz gave the board a once-over before pointing in an entirely different direction from what Higgs had chosen whilst picking up a shopping basket. "It's that way."

The ginger-head folded her arms in annoyance. "What makes you so sure? No one's ever managed to decipher even half of that thing for as long as it's been there." Marco only smirked in superiority, and told his companion 'thanks for the compliment'. Deciding to just follow him to see how he'd embarrass himself this time around, she did just that, only to end up in the underwear section after only a few minutes. It was undeniable — they stood in an aisle filled with the undergarments of various styles and sizes and color in any fashion one could imagine. "Damn, nerd. That was right impressive."

She felt off handing out compliments so simply (especially to a guy who looked **exactly** like Rocam) and she could tell that even Marco was almost uncomfortable because of it. Her personality hadn't done a 180' in the least, and despite him being the squire of the eccentric magic-wielding princess, getting a kudos from her had to have been the strangest thing to happen to him all month.

"Um… okay." He cleared his throat, trying to quell the air of the awkwardness. He just watched as the girl just turn away from him and started to peruse the expansive aisle of underwear from the female side of the row. She motioned to him to give her the metal basket he'd had the presence of mind to get, and without further ado, started to place choice knickers inside. His plans to discomfit her with ill-fitting panties were gone for the moment when she asked him what size the princess wore. "Oh… err…" He hadn't a clue. His eyes fell to her waist and his observant gaze made the squire uneasy; it dredged up how Rocam had stared at her like this before, only then with hungry eyes. "I'm guessing she's your size?"

"Well, we'd better get a bunch of them around the same size, a few sizes bigger and a few that are smaller. Just in case."

"Yeah. Some extra."

And just like that, his eyes squinted slyly as he remembered. Right. Time to buy up the small ones. At checkout, he'd just pack out the small ones into her package and send her on her way and take her most certainly well-picked ones to give to Star. He was about to start picking up the smaller ones when Higgs turned to face him, a good-natured grin on her face. "Don't worry about wasting your cash! You can wear the extras so they don't go to waste. You wanna wear 'em, don't you? Must be the reason why you stole every girl's frillies in the first place."

Her smile let him know that what she said was purely in jest; it was only a joke. Still a victim of circumstances, Marco found himself laughing. "It just happened!"

"Oh yeah? All you did was commit the most nonchalant act of massive panty larceny in history. Good luck becoming a knight with that hanging over your head." Marco could only find himself groaning at this realization and desperately sought to change the subject.

"Alright, alright. Back to business."

"Sure, sure." She picked up a pair of pink tangas and held it up to Marco. "That's my size. Since she's active in my opinion, she can get that. Go pick out more like this with designs that the girly princess likes." She was holding it by the ends spread out for him to have a reference, but his mind was still stuck on what she'd first said.

' _That's my size_ …' Said panties, yes, did look like something that would fit Higgs _and_ Star, but the strangest thing was that he **distinctly** felt like he knew what they wore already. He was still a teenager, after all, and no matter how nice people believed him to be, Marco was still subject to hormones like everyone else.

There was a small part to him that had a few wisps of awareness last night when he'd been thieving the women's underwear, and that side of him didn't want to forget the details.

Before long, Marco overcrowded out that perverse side and his mind caught up to everything else that she said. "Girly princess? I guess she's happy-go-lucky sometimes, but that doesn't mean that she's 'girly'."

"How should I know? You're her squire, so pick something she'd like." Plopping it into his hands, she walked down the aisle away from him and Marco couldn't determine if she was going to do her own shopping (it could be _expensive_ , he thought in alarm at first, before remembering that she was going to owe him a favor), or to give him privacy. But that was dumb-… he needed guidance!

Well, Marco guessed that he'd find out when he heard her opinion when they got to the checkout.

That was all good, he guessed. He'd only lost a bit of his nerve to get payback on his (former?) bully but was still inclined to carry out his plan. Still with the underwear in his hands, the very same that Higgs herself had claimed was her size, it was now way too easy to buy up the smaller ones especially without her attention. When they got to the cashier, he'd just force her to take the small ones. She'd be picking out tight fabric out of her ass constantly for the next week.

"Let me just get Star's own, first," he mumbled to himself. As he did so, he sifted through his thoughts of everything that's happened so far; there was so much, and it'd been less than two days. Potentially losing his best friend, getting his room trashed, and now panty-shopping with Higgs… at this point, stealing every piece of knicker in the castle (and from Hekapoo herself) was of the least relevance right now, had it not been the start and cause for all this.

Had it been in him to run, he would have used his scissors. Problem was, he couldn't find them. He obviously used them to get to Hekapoo… wait, what if she had something to do with their disappearance? Or better yet, maybe she could help him get them back.

But he still wouldn't run. He, of all people, had lashed out against Star and called her a f*ck-about princess, and to leave him the hell alone. To make it worse, it was just after she'd saved him.

How was he supposed to run from that? How could he just run after hurting his friend like that?

He'd wasted enough time. Approaching the checkout counter, he silently gave thanks that there was no one else there — no waiting time. Unfortunately, that meant that he'd have to wait for Higgs.

There were two things wrong with this. When Higgs had left him, it was in the direction of the checkout counter. He had to have seen her between his location and the cashier-… anything else meant that she was wandering. What made this disconcerting was that her goods (obviously a bunch of panties that was waiting for a sloth to put back on the shelves), were still on the counter. The second factor was that she was his ride home, being the one with the pager.

"Um, dude?"

The sloth behind the cash register looked up slowly and mechanically as if every single action was taxing and had to be deliberated in the mind before execution. It didn't even give a response to acknowledge Marco as if it'd take too much effort.

"Have you seen my friend? A little shorter than me, and she's got like, orange hair. Dressed in a blue tunic?" No response. Marco took that as a sign to be more specific. "Green eyes, has freckles. Seen her? No? Yes?"

The sloth looked as if he were going to shrug but just settled for a nod — apparently nodding was easier. "Your friend went to the bathroom. Behind me. Ran like it was urgent."

Marco was about to walk off but stopped. "Friend?" He hadn't even realized that was what he had said. Higgs, a _friend_? Well, he didn't expect that. At all. Figuring that he'd just pay for the goods that were on the counter so that he could leave faster. He told the sloth to just check the goods, and in doing so, Marco noticed something strange as the creature was ringing it up; he started by punching a price for an item that wasn't even there.

"Hey, what's that extra price for?"

"She took a few pads with her to the bathroom," the sloth said lamely. When Marco asked what the heck he meant by 'pads', the sloth sighed deeply. "You know, the things that females use when they're less pleasant."

"Less pleasant? What do you mean by… oh cripes."

…

"Higgs? Higgs?" He didn't get an answer, but he kept calling as he paced through the bathroom, hoping that the girl hadn't ACTUALLY left him behind. "Higgs!"

"A'right, shut up. God, the echoes in here are gonna deaf me if you keep that up!" the girl's voice said from one of the stalls.

"Sorry. Hey, Higgs," he said softly, almost whispering, "are you in here? The cashier said you went to the bathroom."

"Hah-hah," she said dryly, "check out the wits on this guy. Looking past whatever piss-poor reason you've got for coming inside the girls' bathroom, how'd you even know I was in _here_? There are five massive bathrooms on this side of Quest Buy for different genders and species. Had you pegged for a queer, but even a bumble-boy like you would've taken a lot longer finding me in here."

From where he was, Marco guessed that the whole situation would be strange to anyone who would be looking on — that was a fact. There was a girl in a _bathroom stall_ , and he was standing fairly close to it, close enough for her to see his sneakered feet below the bottom of the stall door.

They were conversing or bantering, depending on who you asked.

"I've got some experience with female bathrooms," he admitted without any shame in his voice. "And I know that mewman female bathrooms smell the best, and have the least flooding."

Despite herself, Higgs laughed — once — before sighing. "Uh-huh. So why are you here?"

"Came to find you."

"Obviously! Why couldn't you friggin' wait outside then, hmm? Afraid I'd teleport out of the friggin' water closets?!" she shouted from behind the stall door.

"The thought occurred to me at first," Marco said. He wasn't afraid to say it, and if he'd seen her face-to-face, he'd say it again. "But I figured that you wouldn't."

"Oh?" Higgs's voice grew considerably acidic. "Wouldn't I? You don't even have to dare me. I could leave right now. Just ain't done yet."

"See, I'm actually Princess Turdina-"

"Yeah, no shit," she interrupted.

Marco grinned. She took that revelation well. He didn't expect to tell her, but her knowing already made sense. It made things easier too. "And it's because of that, I know you _wouldn't,_ especially since I figured out what happened. I spent a lot of time at St. Olga's after the revolution. I happen to know a lot about girls, and they can't stand the embarrassment, even with people they know. Even if that old guy was related to you, you wouldn't have teleported back to him with the way you are now."

Higgs, for once, was silent. It was all she could do as she sat on the closed lid of the toilet, wondering if he was going to act like a typical guy and make fun of her.

"Your tunic would hide most of it, but you had on white pants and no underwear. No amount of toilet paper is gonna wipe that away. If the tunic could hide it, then you would have been fine. But it was heavy, wasn't it?"

"Whoop-de-doo. Give the crossdresser a medal," Higgs said glumly, holding her face down in her hands in shame. "Just had to come to laugh in my face, huh?"

Marco shook his head, although she couldn't see it. "Nah," he stated as he tossed a package over the top of the stall door. To the girl's surprise, something fell into her lap and realized that it was a pair of pants and the same tanga that she'd given Marco in the beginning, packaged in wrapping plastic. "I figured that 'hey, we're in a mall that sells everything from a cursed pin to enchanted anchors'. Getting some pants was no problem, and I had the panty as a size reference. Good thing you gave it to me."

Still in the privacy of the stall, Higgs wasted no time changing. Mentally, not that she would ever admit it to anyone, but she was thankful for not having sabotaged Marco's purchases; it'd crossed her mind while browsing to give him a pair of cursed panties for size reference, certain that he'd still give it to the princess, but chose not to in her efforts to better her relations with the boy outside.

She guessed… everything had worked out. She was never more relieved and happy than at that moment.

Finally, she came out, and her old pair of pants were rolled up in the same packaging plastic the new one came in. "Well, that just happened," she muttered in disbelief. Marco nodded and smiled encouragingly. "That _never happened_. Capische?" He easily understood that she meant that he wasn't to disclose what had just transpired to anyone, and assured her that he wouldn't. "Alright. So… are you sure you didn't just help me out because you were nervous about getting left behind?"

"Make no mistake, I would've eventually gotten back. Lots of people come here using scissors. I helped you because you were on your period."

"So?"

"Girls act mean sometimes around that time of the month, suffering from cramps and headaches and hormones and that just makes them behave as if they want to jump down your throat. Frankly, you've acted as if you were on your period constantly ever since I met you."

"Very funny, asshole."

"It's true!" Marco insisted as they began to make their way out. "But now, it was really happening, and you weren't as crabby. It means that you were actively making an effort not to be mean."

Higgs rolled her eyes. "Yeah, cause it takes a whole lot of effort not to put you in your place." However, from Marco's sudden lapse into silence, she could tell that he was serious. "What, really? You're overthinking things. I did what anyone would do in my position." Suddenly, her mouth was out of her control and now saying things it shouldn't. "Truth be told, I was in a rough spot, and had to _act_ nice to get something from a guy I didn't like."

"You _thought_. If that were the case, knowing you, I'm guessing you would've just robbed me this morning."

"Occurred to me, nerd."

"But you didn't. I'm not sure about everything that's happened to make you stop picking on me, but I know that it has to do with your arm, Rocam, him being someone who hurt you and the fact that we look alike. You came to terms that I'm not him, or at least damn well realized that bullying me isn't affecting the guy, wherever he is."

"So?" Higgs narrowed her eyes. "What? Do you want a cookie? A standing ovation? Check out the brains on this guy, everyone. A real detective."

He ignored her bark, knowing that it was the only intimidation she had left since she had no more reason to bite. "I was thinking that we could be friends."

Higgs stopped, completely baffled. "… the hell?" Needless to say, she hadn't seen this coming. "Friends? Are you out of your mind?"

"Why not?" He held out his hand for her to shake.

Well, why shouldn't she? A guy close to the princess, loaded with cash and desperate to please; all qualities of a guy she would like to have in her corner. Cons: He looked _exactly_ like Rocam, save for an intentional scar on one of his cheeks. That bastard had used her, and she had reminders of that every time she went to bed and had nightmares, and every morning when she put on her arm-warmers to hide the scars he'd given her.

The worst part was that she'd been infatuated with him too. He hurt her.

Despite how much of a nice guy Marco was, she could barely look Marco in the face sometimes. When she worked up the nerve and told him this, he realized that she was damaged and it'd be difficult for her to change. Her cracks would always be there and knowing this much, it'd affect how he interacted with her too.

He had to show that he'd meet her halfway.

"I won't trip you up in the halls if you won't," he said with a friendly grin.

Yeah. That was a good enough start for her. Her somber face was split with one of her good-natured shy smiles — Marco didn't quite catch himself thinking how pretty it made the squire look. "I won't trip you up either, Marco."

Progress was progress, the Diaz thought, and they had to start somewhere. As they walked out of the bathroom, he tossed the too-small panties in the trash.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," was all he said.


End file.
